Thursday, 24 August 2017

An immodest proposal to combat Dublin rent prices.

For a while now, renting in Dublin, along with cities like London, Paris and New York,  has been impossibly expensive. It seems there's no end in sight either, with glum projections of exploding rental prices on a near endless loop.

It seems late stage capitalism has evolved urban rental beyond being something affordable for the traditional family unit. Both members of a couple work now and, even with average salaries, affording a home in the capital proves a huge ask.

It's at times like these society digs deep and evolves to meet the challenge threatening its very existence. The traditional couple is dead. Killed by landlords. All hail the menage a trois.

Nowadays only three full salaries can provide the funds needed for city living. Bills would only be increased minimally as the family Bolognese can surely stretch to one more plate. Carpooling with 3 instead of 2 should help drastically with the city's traffic issues and create less pollution. And people are far more likely to find love if that special someone is open to sharing their lives with twice as many people. That's half the amount of time needed on Tinder.  Three salaries, one double bed. 

Arguments are now easier resolved given there's now a mediator on hand or at the very least a democratic vote now counts for something in a landscape where marriages break down and come apart faster than ever before.  Holidays are suddenly more affordable also.

Car and home insurance, those other two foes of the happy family unit are also suddenly tamed with a third income. Finally the middle class is resurrected from the ashes.

Now, initially there may prove some resistance from the traditionally short sighted institutions who actually legally bind relationships. But in time surely the powers that be can only grow more convinced how big an improvement just one more addition is to the ancient old world tradition.

Exhausted parents now have a baby sitter and an invaluable extra pair of hands. Childcare is made more affordable as well. The homestead is easier cleaned and boozy nights in take on a far more social feel. In a world where people are making increasingly less love, with three lovers the sex becomes much more available, between all 3, a cosy 2 or even the more traditional 1.

More sexually and emotionally gratified people living for less in urban areas, creating less pollution and traffic. Occupying less tables in restaurants but spending more money. The only question now is why stop at 3?

About Alan Walsh

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